Mark Wahlberg, Jack Black and Other Unknown Celebrities

Watching the Oscars the other night, I saw Mark Wahlberg presenting an award, and as the light bulb lit over my head, I thought to myself, “Ohhh, THAT’S Mark Wahlberg!”


It all started in Boston, in August of 2012. No, actually it all started in London in November of 2006. I was visiting a friend of mine, Sue; it was my first trip abroad and I was loving London. We were in the West End theater district one evening, which was packed with people, when Sue’s son, a photographer, rushed up to us and said he’d gotten a press pass and was going to get a shot of Jack Black, who was there for the premiere of The Holiday. Sue was very excited and stretched her 5’9” frame up to try to get a glimpse of Black. Being a bit on the short side myself, I had no hope of seeing Mr. Black, and truth be told, I had no idea who he was anyway. Having never seen The Cable Guy, or I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, Shallow Hal or any of the other films Jack Black had been in, he was an unknown to me.

Let me explain, I don’t see a lot of movies anyway, and if I do it’s usually a rented video viewed in my living room.

It took a little while for Sue to realize I had no idea who we were hoping to see. She was incredulous! “You don’t know who Jack Black is?!” “Uh, no.” She proceeded to name off a list of films he had been in, and I, embarrassed that I obviously was lacking in cultural knowledge of a great film star, shook my head no at each movie title. This was obviously an opportunity wasted on a small town country bumpkin. Ah well.

Fast forward to August of 2012. Sue was now visiting me in the States and we decided to take a road trip to Boston and Cape Cod. We arrived in Boston fairly early in the afternoon and on a whim I suggested that we take a commuter ferry to Hingham to get a feel for the locals.

It was approximately an hour commute to Hingham and I had a great time people watching. There was a particularly good looking gentleman aboard who just oozed “money” from his pores, sitting on the steps of the ferry. After a time he wandered over to the rail, which is my favorite place to be on a boat, so I started talking with him. I’m not sure what David actually did for a living, but it was obvious he knew a lot about stocks, trading, and the economic future of the United States. During the course of our conversation he suggested my friend and I stop at Alma Nove’s, a trendy restaurant in Hingham, for a drink before heading back to Boston.

Alma Nove is owned by Alma Wahlberg, mother to Mark, Donnie, Paul and a bunch of other Wahlbergs. Sue and I sat at the bar and started talking with a delightful barman, Gabriel, who was waxing eloquent about the restaurant being run by Mark Wahlberg’s brother Paul and sometimes Mark would stop in and visit with the patrons; and how Mark and Donnie had opened a restaurant across the street called Wahlburger’s. Now granted, it was loud in there and I was having a hard time hearing everything Gabriel was saying, but I gotta be honest; I had no idea who Mark or Donnie Wahlberg were. I thought I’d heard Mark’s name somewhere, but I thought maybe he was a computer geek or something, like Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates.

Again Sue couldn’t believe I was clueless. I was establishing a precedent here. So I texted my daughter, who is a very savvy individual, and I wrote, “Do the names Mark and/or Donnie Wahlberg mean anything to you,” clearly thinking I would be vindicated by her not knowing them either. She texted back, “Yeah, Marky Mark and New Kids on the Block.”

Once again I was laughing at my lack of current cultural knowledge, although I did actually know who the New Kids on the Block were. But, hey, after watching the Oscars, I realize there are a LOT of celebrities out there now that I’ve never heard of. And quite honestly, I really don’t care. I don’t watch movies much anyway.