Character Assassination
Slander, libel, defamation, malign, malicious gossip – all with the intent to damage a person’s reputation. I have been a victim myself, but worse, I have done the same to other people. Everyone makes mistakes; I presume everyone has done something in their life that they wish they could take back, something they’re ashamed of having done. There is one school thought that says a leopard can’t change his spots, meaning he can’t change. There is also a lovely quote by none other than Marilyn Monroe, “People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” The operative words are “people change.” I’m betting most of you reading this aren’t the same person you were 20, 30 or 40 years ago. What a terrible world this would be if we all still carried the petty hurts and anger we felt in our youth. If we’re lucky we learn, we grow, we change, we become better people as we age; perhaps not all of us, but many of us.
I am guilty of “mob mentality,” following the crowd and joining in on the tearing apart of a person’s character. Sounds a bit like ancient Rome, Christians and lions. When I was a kid and going to Sunday school, there was a term used, “backbiting.” To be a backbiter was a sin. I can remember older women at church picnics looking at someone who was backbiting and showing and voicing their disapproval. Bless their hearts. They learned something it has taken me decades to understand. I have a friend who lives by the old creed, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” When I’m around her I know when I’m not being nice, I can tell by the look on her face. She is my inspiration to be a better person, my role model. I don’t expect I’ll change my opinion about certain people, but I can learn to keep it to myself.
A few days ago I was ready to retire from society, disappear, quit writing, quit the organizations I’d joined, quit being who I am, all because of some vicious words spoken about me. I was deeply hurt and angry. But then a very wise person pointed out to me all the friends I have, all the people who think I’m a good and worthy person. Why should the words of one person destroy me? Human nature I suppose. But everything happens for a reason, even this. I owe a debt of gratitude to the person who tried to destroy my reputation. It pointed out to me how nasty I can be at times, and how I need to mend my own life. It has brought me closer to being a better person.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Culture Shock
We are all aware that there are different cultures: Spain has a culture, South Africa has a culture, Australia, Japan, Brazil all have their own cultures. There are sub-cultures, the Cultural Revolution and even Boy George had his Culture Club; but have you ever stopped to think about the American culture? If you’re like me, you don’t often think about our own culture. We live it. It’s the way we live, the things we do, the things we buy, the way we eat, it’s instant gratification. Cultures vary across the United States, but many of the essentials are the same.
I don’t give the American culture much thought, until I see it through the eyes of someone visiting from another country. We have friends from England visiting later this week. Hazel and Donno have been in the United States for a week already, experiencing the places and events we have to offer here in Western New York, but mostly they wanted to meet the people. We’re the last stop in a three-family visit and each family will show them different aspects of our little sub-culture right here in and around Ripley.
Americans eat out – a lot. The British tend to eat more meals at home. Americans eat – a lot. Every person from England I’ve spoken with who has visited America has made the same comment: our portion size for meals is huge compared to theirs. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to equate portion size with body size. Americans are notoriously overweight. As a society we eat less fruits and vegetables and consume more meat and fat than most other nations. Our friends went to a McDonald’s their first day here, and commented later on how large the regular hamburger was compared to their burgers from McDonald’s in England.
Americans are known for their mantra, “everything is bigger and better here.” Just ask anybody. We have bigger houses, bigger yards, bigger bodies of water, bigger bugs. You name it; we can find something about our country that is bigger or better than theirs. It’s the innate braggart in us. (Of course, in Texas it’s even bigger still. They were once their own country you know. Just ask ‘em.) We are a nation founded on political and religious malcontents. We built a nation better than the one from which we broke free – or so we think. The pioneer spirit is inherent in our culture. The desire pull up stakes and move on to new adventure is typically American. Not that any of these things are solely American traits, but they seem to be more prevalent here.
Hazel and Donno will be shown Niagara Falls, the largest waterfall by volume; they will visit Lake Erie, the second smallest of the five largest fresh bodies of water in the world. One of the largest dams in the United States east of the Mississippi River, Kinzua Dam, will also be on their agenda, as will Panama Rocks which began forming over 300 million years ago. We’ll do our best to entertain and impress our guests. It’s what we do in America. In a big way.
We are all aware that there are different cultures: Spain has a culture, South Africa has a culture, Australia, Japan, Brazil all have their own cultures. There are sub-cultures, the Cultural Revolution and even Boy George had his Culture Club; but have you ever stopped to think about the American culture? If you’re like me, you don’t often think about our own culture. We live it. It’s the way we live, the things we do, the things we buy, the way we eat, it’s instant gratification. Cultures vary across the United States, but many of the essentials are the same.
I don’t give the American culture much thought, until I see it through the eyes of someone visiting from another country. We have friends from England visiting later this week. Hazel and Donno have been in the United States for a week already, experiencing the places and events we have to offer here in Western New York, but mostly they wanted to meet the people. We’re the last stop in a three-family visit and each family will show them different aspects of our little sub-culture right here in and around Ripley.
Americans eat out – a lot. The British tend to eat more meals at home. Americans eat – a lot. Every person from England I’ve spoken with who has visited America has made the same comment: our portion size for meals is huge compared to theirs. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to equate portion size with body size. Americans are notoriously overweight. As a society we eat less fruits and vegetables and consume more meat and fat than most other nations. Our friends went to a McDonald’s their first day here, and commented later on how large the regular hamburger was compared to their burgers from McDonald’s in England.
Americans are known for their mantra, “everything is bigger and better here.” Just ask anybody. We have bigger houses, bigger yards, bigger bodies of water, bigger bugs. You name it; we can find something about our country that is bigger or better than theirs. It’s the innate braggart in us. (Of course, in Texas it’s even bigger still. They were once their own country you know. Just ask ‘em.) We are a nation founded on political and religious malcontents. We built a nation better than the one from which we broke free – or so we think. The pioneer spirit is inherent in our culture. The desire pull up stakes and move on to new adventure is typically American. Not that any of these things are solely American traits, but they seem to be more prevalent here.
Hazel and Donno will be shown Niagara Falls, the largest waterfall by volume; they will visit Lake Erie, the second smallest of the five largest fresh bodies of water in the world. One of the largest dams in the United States east of the Mississippi River, Kinzua Dam, will also be on their agenda, as will Panama Rocks which began forming over 300 million years ago. We’ll do our best to entertain and impress our guests. It’s what we do in America. In a big way.
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