This post requires a bit of an explanation. A couple weeks ago a column appeared in the Westfield Republican, the same paper to which I submit my columns. In this column the editor complains about the use of the exclamation point. I wrote a rebuttal of his views. I have enclosed both columns so you can follow the reasoning, such as it is. Hope you enjoy!

The most worthless punctuation mark
By S. Alexander Gerould

You’ve probably seen the episode of “Seinfeld” where the character Elaine breaks up with her boyfriend because he didn’t use an exclamation point in a message announcing Elaine’s friend had given to birth to a child.

Here’s that part of the script from www.seinfeldlists.com:

Elaine: Ooh, Myra had the baby! Oh, my God that’s wonderful! Who called?

Jake: She did.

Elaine: She did? Oh, that’s so great!

Jake: Where do you keep the corkscrew?

Elaine: In the drawer on the right. Hmm...

Jake: What?

Elaine: Oh it’s nothing.

Jake: What is it?

Elaine: It’s nothing.

Jake: Tell me.

Elaine: Well, I was just curious why you didn’t use an exclamation point?

Jake: What are you talking about?

Elaine: See, right here you wrote “Myra had the baby”, but you didn’t use an exclamation point.

Jake: So?

Elaine: So, it’s nothing. Forget it, forget it, I just find it curious.

Jake: What’s so curious about it?

Elaine: Well, I mean if one of your close friends had a baby and I left you a message about it, I would use an exclamation point.

Jake: Well, maybe I don’t use my exclamation points as haphazardly as you do.

Elaine: You don’t think that someone having a baby warrants an exclamation point?

Jake: Hey, I just chalked down the message. I didn’t know I was required to capture the mood of each caller.

Elaine: I just thought you would be a little more excited about a friend of mine having a baby.

Jake: Ok, I’m excited. I just don’t happen to like exclamation points.

Elaine: Well, you know Jake, you should learn to use them. Like the way I’m talking right now, I would put an exclamation points at the end of all these sentences! On this one! And on that one!

Jake: Well, you can put one on this one: I’m leaving!

I laughed at the situation, but I could completely understand where Elaine’s boyfriend was coming from – exclamation points are the most useless piece of punctuation out there.

Heck, give me a semi-colon, apostrophe or question mark any day and I’ll be happy. At least those types of punctuation marks add a little more character and pizazz.

After doing some research on our illustrious friend, the exclamation mark – yes, there has been research done and, believe it or not, I do have a life – I found that this horrid piece of punctuation was first introduced into English printing in the 15th century. At the time, it was called the “note of admiration” – probably because “most useless” was already taken and the ancient grammarians felt bad for the little guy. According to Wikipedia, the exclamation mark didn’t appear on manual typewriters until the 1970’s.

Meanwhile, another resource suggests that this mark is often the most overused piece of punctuation and the use of it can make writing seem “amateurish.” Too many exclamation points, according to www.writingforward.com, can make reading difficult and provide readers with “speedbumps” to their comprehension of a text.

So, you have punctuation which is overused and couldn’t even make it onto a typewriter until the 1970s – that just screams winner.

And here’s this piece of information. According to the “Associated Press Stylebook,” the Bible when it comes to journalism, a period should be used “after mildly exclamatory sentences.” The exclamation point should only be used after extremely exclamatory sentences. Sorry, exclamation point, you lose again.

Whenever my co-worker, Nette, has something someone wishes to have printed in the newspaper, she occasionally glances through it. She loves it when there are exclamation points.

“You’re going to love this one,” she’ll say.

“Let me guess – exclamation points,” I usually respond.

She just nods.

Meanwhile, I’m tearing my hair out.

I don’t need a line and dot to tell me to be excited about something. Good writing should have that already built in and shouldn’t require a little helper at the end of a sentence. If a bear is chasing me, I’m going to be excited. I don’t need to read: “Then the bear started to chase me!”

There are some people that I know who use an exclamation point after almost every sentence. Take a glance at your Facebook or MySpace page every now and then, and you’ll see that someone is “going to the store!” or “just made a yummy dinner!” The only way I would be excited about those is if the person went to the store to buy me a 52-inch flat screen television or was making me dinner. I might actually use an exclamation point in my status update if someone actually did that for me.

In closing, I leave you with this great – and true - quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, author of “The Great Gatsby”: “Cut out all those exclamation marks. An exclamation mark is like laughing at your own jokes.”


Useless Indeed!

With all due respect to the editor of the Westfield Republican, I take issue with his tongue-in-cheek column of last week entitled “The most worthless punctuation mark.” In it he asserts that the exclamation point is a useless, horrid piece of punctuation. Au contraire Mr. Gerould!

I’ve been thinking about why the exclamation point is a necessary part of our lexicon and I think it all stems back toward the common use of the written word. If the exclamation point truly came into being in the 1600s, that coincides beautifully with an upswing of the written language for the masses. Prior to that, the written word was for the religious doctrines, government documents and other dreary things. No excitement there. Ideas are exciting! Passion is passionate! There are times you cannot convey that in the written language adequately. Hence, the addition of an exclamation point to let your reader know you are excited or passionate about what you just wrote.

For instance: If I say to you” I’m going to the theater to see Hamlet,” it could be read in the monotonous monotonic manner of Ben Stein (of Richard Nixon and Ferris Bueller fame). But if I add an exclamation point it tells you I’m excited about this venture!

I will concede the ! is over used but perhaps Mr. Gerould’s distain of this worthy latecomer to the written language stems from the sad demise of the hand written letter. Letter writing is fast becoming a lost art. Typewriters, computer word processing programs (not to mention blogging, Tweeting and Facebooking) and most especially the hand-held phone text messaging all render letter writing obsolete for most people. With the plethora of smiley faces, winks and other visual candy available on electronic transmissions, the exclamation point has been rendered worthless.”

I intend to keep using exclamation points in my writing. Viva la !

(All “facts” and scenarios presented here are purely a product of my imagination and are in no way indicative of actual events.)