Imagine – The Town of Forsythe

When the fertile minds of Meeder’s Restaurant regulars get bored, watch out. Some pretty bizarre ideas are discussed, mulled over, and declared viable!

One fine morning last week, the difficulty of opening new businesses and zoning laws came under scrutiny at a certain table of frequent breakfast goers. New York State taxes in general came under fire and the idea of cutting New York City loose from the rest of the state was under discussion. After due consideration, it was determined to be impossible to rid ourselves of the behemoth that drains our resources.

Attention soon turned to wasted local tax money. “Why not start our own town,” was thrown into the ring. The idea quickly caught hold and discussion ensued.

The new town, to be organized to the east of Ripley, would be called Forsythe. But wait a minute. According to New York Hometown Locator “Forsyth is a community or populated place (Class Code U6) in Chautauqua County.” It already exists! It’s right there, on the Internet. (A Code U6 is an unincorporated, not officially designated census place.)

The panel of Ripley planners determined that Forsythe should start at Brockway Road and extend to the Westfield line on the eastern side of the Forsythe Bridge. “That means we already have a cemetery,” said one enthusiast. Ripley Beach would be included in the boundaries and could be developed as a state park, thereby producing much needed income, another proponent suggested.

The children of the new community would be bused to surrounding schools for their education, sidestepping the issues of consolidation and annexation. No highway department would be needed since the main routes of 20 and 5 are already plowed and maintained by New York State, and other roads within the boundaries of the new town could be easily plowed by the local population, almost all of whom own a tractor and plow. Sections of road would be assigned to property owners.

No water/sewer department would be needed, since all residents would be required to have well and septic systems in place. Electricity would be purchased from Westfield since it is well known that they have cheaper electric bills.

Zoning would be deemed all commercial/rural, thereby allowing a large influx of business growth. “Walmart could be first in line – a BIG Walmart store right where those big hay rolls sit.”

Some thought was given to claiming sovereignty and collecting a fee from New York State for running the New York Thruway through sovereign land, but it was determined that had already been done.

More planning sessions are needed to work out the kinks in this new venture. Most any morning around 8:30 a.m. at Meeder’s will find the committee hard at work with this, or other pressing matters. Additional ideas welcome. Nay-sayers need not apply.