Watch What You Say

Watch What You Say

I'm hearing a lot of "I wish it was spring," and "I can't wait til it warms up," as well as other sentiments from disgruntled citizens of the realm. I know I commented earlier in the winter about wanting more snow, and even my need for the white stuff has been satiated, but I won't wish for anything else. I refuse to wish my life away. Time flies too quickly as it is.

When my son was an infant and colicky I heard myself saying I wished he were older so he'd outgrow that stage, and then I realized I was wishing his little life would progress faster than it already was! I resolved then that I would not wish for time to be anything other than what it was at that moment. Life is too short to not experience each and every moment.

Another comment I hear is, "Been there, done that." What an insidious remark that is. In four little words it manages to diminish and trivialize the sentiments or feelings of another. A few years back I was sharing the trials and tribulations of taking care of my invalid mother-in-law to a friend. Without even listening to everything I was saying, his reply was, "Been there, done that." Immediately I felt as if my challenges and problems were totally inconsequential, and my feelings had no merit. It's a nasty little phrase that tells the person it's said to that they don't matter.

"Duh," is another commonly used put-down. Want to make someone feel stupid? Just respond with "duh" when they point out a fact or situation of which you're already aware. A sarcastic "no kidding" fits the same category. People love to share their knowledge and discoveries. Is it really necessary for us to put them down for it?

Ever notice we tend to be meaner and nastier to family members? We would never say some of the things we do if we were talking to a friend, acquaintance or stranger. Well, maybe some people would, but those people need special help anyway. Why do we talk to our children or spouses as if they have no feelings? Some of the wounds we inflict with our words last a lifetime. Who was it who said, "the pen is mightier than the sword?" Actually several famous people said it, but they all meant you could do more damage by writing something (or saying something) about a person than you could by piercing them with a sword.

So watch what you say! I'll be listening.